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The theory of vicarious experience

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The theory of vicarious experience
son of Thanatos
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Posted 02/03/08 - 09:38 AM:
Subject: The theory of vicarious experience
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#1
This theory looks at the meaning of experience. As I grow, I try to experience more and more emotions. I feel compelled to expand my repertoire of exploits. Unfortunately, my ability to accomplish those exploits is limited by time. For instance, I wish I could be a culinary master, however, this conflicts with my overriding desire to be a learned architect. So I am forced to hand over one set of experiences for another. It is a logical step to say that part of the reason that we have attractions for other people is to vicariously experience what they do. So attraction has more facets than simply love for the sake of love, but rather a way to expand ones range of experience. Vis-à-vis I gain the experiences of my partner without investing the same amount of time into one subject as in my own area of expertise.

I feel compelled to state that vicarious experience is only one facet of relation, there are many more that attribute themselves to a good relationship.

This seems to be an argument for polygamy, though I am a monogamist

This seems terribly obvious after I’ve written it down.
Please help me expand this into a more meaningful theory

jaoman
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Posted 02/03/08 - 09:53 AM:
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What culinary mastery could you possibly gain from sex? Chocolate covered penises with whipped cream and sprinkles aside, you're hardly going to cook it (I hope!). I don't see that sex adds any unkink expertise that a casual relationship doesn't.

Not to beat down polygamy, of course. Love may well be a renewable resource. grin

"With no relation to class or social background, whether it suits them or not, people yearn for a dream. Sustained by a dream, hurt by a dream, revived by a dream, killed by a dream. And even after being abandoned by a dream, it continues to smolder from the bottom of one's heart... probably until the verge of death. A man should envision such a lifetime once. A life spent as a martyr to the god named "dream."
- Kentaro Miura
son of Thanatos
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Posted 02/03/08 - 11:03 AM:
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That makes absolutely no sense to me. what are you talking about? polygamy is marriage to multiple partners, sex has nothing to do with this theory except that it is an experience.

please clarify your response.
thanks
jaoman
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Posted 02/03/08 - 11:41 AM:
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What does marriage offer that a normal long term friendship does not? Typically, it's exclusive sexual rights.

Edited by jaoman on 02/03/08 - 11:46 AM

"With no relation to class or social background, whether it suits them or not, people yearn for a dream. Sustained by a dream, hurt by a dream, revived by a dream, killed by a dream. And even after being abandoned by a dream, it continues to smolder from the bottom of one's heart... probably until the verge of death. A man should envision such a lifetime once. A life spent as a martyr to the god named "dream."
- Kentaro Miura
son of Thanatos
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Posted 02/04/08 - 06:35 AM:
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What does marriage offer that a normal long term friendship does not? Typically, it's exclusive sexual rights. - jaoman

But i feel that boundaries are much more restricted even with a long term friendship. I agree though, friendship does offer an amount of vicarious experience. I'm just not convinced that it has even half the amount as a partner. I have some very strong friendships but I'm not kissing them goodnight every night; I'm typically not dealing with the day-to-day crap they deal with. sometimes it happens that we talk about issues but in a relationship, it happens every day all the time.
jaoman
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Posted 02/04/08 - 07:57 AM:
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Alright. So let's turn the tables around. What culinary expertise can you get from your five star chef wife that you can't get from your five star chef buddy?

"With no relation to class or social background, whether it suits them or not, people yearn for a dream. Sustained by a dream, hurt by a dream, revived by a dream, killed by a dream. And even after being abandoned by a dream, it continues to smolder from the bottom of one's heart... probably until the verge of death. A man should envision such a lifetime once. A life spent as a martyr to the god named "dream."
- Kentaro Miura
son of Thanatos
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Posted 02/05/08 - 12:00 PM:
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The concept of vicarious experience is one of slightly more depth than just the results. Yes, a five star chef buddy would probably yield a greater knowledge of good food, and to some extent the struggle that it takes to make great food, but to contrast that with a partner, pales in comparison. A five star chef wife will expound all the details involved in the making of great food and the struggles of learning great food and the trials of becoming a great chef. As a partner, I would be in some way responsible for consoling my partner every day. A great friend may give some glimpses of the struggles involved, but the responsibility of consoling them is not as great. It is possible to ignore a friend (as unfriendly as that would be) but a partner is much more difficult to push aside.
the occupation of a partner becomes, to some extent, my occupation even though I am not pursuing that career.

Simply, the emotional connection between a great friend and a life partner is different and a partner's connection will be (or should be) more intense, therefore the vicarious experience with that person would be more intense.

Edited by Landlady on 02/06/08 - 10:27 PM. Reason: Capitalization
rabeldin
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Posted 02/08/08 - 04:04 AM:
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You want to have your cake and eat it too! Life is choices. Make a commitment to a set of experiences and take full advantage of them. Otherwise you'll end up on the periphery of life at the age of eighty.

Leave no assumption unquestioned.
Caldwell
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Posted 02/09/08 - 01:12 PM:
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son of Thanatos wrote:

Please help me expand this into a more meaningful theory


I don't know what else to say either, but that if it's your life partner (wife, husband, etc) certainly you get to learn other things besides the work of any five-star chef. I think this is trivial. I mean, it goes without saying that a relationship with a spouse has elements in it that aren't found in a relationship with a friend, a teacher, a neighbor, colleagues, etc. That is why you say you think this is obvious (in your op).

So, how is a vicarious experience with a spouse suddenly becomes worthy of a theory?
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