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Talking to yourself.
Why is it looked down upon?

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Talking to yourself.

BNX
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Posted 12/01/06 - 10:35 PM: Subject: Talking to yourself.	#1
I was talking with a few friends of mine, and we stumbled across the topic of "talking to yourself." A couple of them admitted to it, and we all agreed it can be a great way for someone to think and map out their thoughts. These people are very intelligent and socially skilled mind you. They are far from mentally ill. We all talk to ourselves a little once in a while, but there are a few that do it on a regular basis. I have come to question: Why is it looked down upon in society to talk to ones self? I do not mean a little phrase mumbled when a certain event happens, but having small conversations or thinking out loud. When someone is actually talking to themselves, it is supposedly a sign of "insanity," "schizophrenia," or other diseases. But why? Is it because the people who do not talk to themselves are inferior and insecure because they lack the usefull skill of mapping your thoughts? I don't know. Practicing social behavior, thinking out loud, or even creating a second personality to interact with can be great tools for one's social skills; furthermore, it is very different from someone with a multiple personality disorder as they cannot control it, they hear voices and it can control them. Yet some people assume they are the same. Could there be some relation between the area of the brain we use, as it affects the way we learn and think? IE Right handed and left handed people.

nirvana
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Posted 12/02/06 - 05:08 AM:	#2
Talking to yourself can be done in 2 different ways. Talking to yourself suggests that there is another person with another mind that you talk to, and of course, that is not true and thus looked down upon. However, i'm not sure if this happens to anyone else but when i read anything, i am saying the words in my head. Also, when i think about things, my mind talks to itself (without any actual sound). I don't ask myself questions and expect a response, i merely state questions and throw out responses off my head. Is this talking to myself? I don't know how to think without saying anything in my mind. Is it the same as everyone else?

Crazy
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Posted 12/02/06 - 08:04 AM:	#3
To the above poster, I believe that's just thinking. Every word I type I sort of "hear" (not in my ear you understand) whatever I'm typing. I also "hear" voices in my head(always the same one by the way). Same when I read, unless I'm really focused, in which case I don't vocalize, and if I do just barely..
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nirvana
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Posted 12/02/06 - 08:20 AM:	#4
exactly..it's thinking. But i am still saying something to myself. Havn't you ever thought something, but accidently said it aloud? An example is your on the computer alone and something happens and then you say something like 'shit' as an example. That's talking to yourself.

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Posted 12/02/06 - 08:41 AM:	#5
A time or two and I've even talked to myself out loud before. I don't see what the big deal is amd I'm sure emany people do it at least once, but are they to embarrassed to admit it.
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nirvana
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Posted 12/02/06 - 01:06 PM:	#6
But i do think there is a big difference between the odd word and conversation to yourself (when aloud).

Crazy
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Posted 12/02/06 - 02:33 PM:	#7
Yeah, but still, I don't see how it makes you crazy. I don't ask myself how I'm doing or anything, I don't say hey Crazy, what's up? I only talk to myself when I'm debating something in my head. I dunno why, but it feels better to say the thoughts in those situations.
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Alford_Korztein
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Posted 12/02/06 - 03:25 PM:	#8
I think talking to yourself only matters in how you deal with yourself. I, for one, have an insanely annoying conscience that constantly brings up embarrassing and idiotic things that I did. Like with tourette's sufferers, it's sometimes hard for me not to shout a dirty word in order to jolt myself out of remembering bad memory. It doesn't just look like I'm talking to myself, but that I'm arguing with myself. I look crazy. The way I justify it is that I'm so insanely moral that anything bad that I have ever done gets repeatedly reminded to me so I don't do such things again. I can only imagine that the people who talk to themselves do so either because they don't care or they have a hard time controlling the reaction to their thoughts. So I think it's looked down upon because the people who talk to themselves wish to be social outcasts (because they know how it looks to converse with one's self) or because they simply can't control the "voices" in their head--or the pictures and memories. These people are probably pre-judged as being either psychotic or simply weak-minded. These are qualities that are looked down upon for whatever reason, probably that these people don't make the best outfits (a friend that you wear, if you get my lingo). Then there's explaining things to yourself by talking out loud. I don't think that's weird at all. When I can't figure out something mathematically, I talk myself through it in order to link together a causal strategy to get the right answer. When pure concept fails, I break the concept up into multiple concepts and then link them together with phrases such as, "Since I want to find out the slope of this part of the curve"--do derivative--"and since the slope changed from positive to negative at zero"--do second derivative--etc. I feel like I've tried to make myself crazy over the years in order to understand those people better. I feel if I ever visited an asylum, I'd be able to communicate with the whatever-you-callums better than 90% of everyone who works their. And I feel I can understand them because I've always been curious as to what makes someone normal.

ying
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Posted 12/02/06 - 06:09 PM:	#9
The way I experience myself as a thinking subject is much like Socrates' daimon, or Jungs anima... To me, there usually is this play of questions and answers going... It's just an interplay of intuition (unconscious) and thinking (conscious)... A phenomenon wich might highlight what I mean is when you're really trying to remember something, but you can't. Moments later, you remember what you wanted, but it just pops up, without the effort... It's the same kind of interplay, only aplied differently. On a neurological level, the interplay between the right and left hemisphere might account for this phenomenon, since the cutting of the brainstem (? was it? I'm not sure if it's that part of the brain.) creates a disparity in actions between conscious and some sort of 'other conscious'. Jungs theory on the autonomy of the unconscious might also explain those strong intuitive moments.
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Posted 12/02/06 - 09:52 PM:	#10
I usually talk to myself to calm the emotional turmoils raging through my brain. Talking to myself, even soothing myself with a particular variety of my own theories or assurances; it either releases brain-chemicals that make me feel that much better or simply stabilizes my thinking patterns which are often off-the-mark completely and cause me great discomfort. No one ever noticed it though.... it's a silent in-your-head type of thinking that can only be given away if I stare at a distant spot for a while and seem to lost myself in a conversation with someone else.

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Posted 12/02/06 - 10:49 PM:	#11
Alford_Korztein wrote: I can only imagine that the people who talk to themselves do so either because they don't care or they have a hard time controlling the reaction to their thoughts. So I think it's looked down upon because the people who talk to themselves wish to be social outcasts (because they know how it looks to converse with one's self) . Alfred think it's looked down upon because people who talk to themselves wish to be social outcasts (because they know how it looks to converse with one's self). Alfred please do not be offended, but that is ridiculous. Why? In our modern era, people appear to be talking to themselves all the time. Have you not noticed that many people are "plugged in" to their cell phones. They nearly never unplug the device from their ear. They simply walk around talking to others who are never present. Hence, it appears that they are only talking to themselves. Even weirder yet, we have people who continually talk to their recorder. So what if someone turns around mumbles to themself that another person should go fly a kite.

Alford_Korztein
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Posted 12/03/06 - 12:03 AM:	#12
pumkin wrote: Alfred think it's looked down upon because people who talk to themselves wish to be social outcasts (because they know how it looks to converse with one's self). Alfred please do not be offended, but that is ridiculous. Why? In our modern era, people appear to be talking to themselves all the time. Have you not noticed that many people are "plugged in" to their cell phones. They nearly never unplug the device from their ear. They simply walk around talking to others who are never present. Hence, it appears that they are only talking to themselves. Even weirder yet, we have people who continually talk to their recorder. So what if someone turns around mumbles to themself that another person should go fly a kite. I wouldn't care if you called me a pinheaded moron (God, that is the best impersonal insult I can come up with) as long as you had a good reason. In our modern time, people look crazy for the split second that we do not realize that they are talking on their cellphone. It has become a force of habit to look for that ear piece, or to search for the consistencies that occur over the course of a cell phone conversation. Soft whispering while making maniacal hand and face gestures, laughing while speaking incoherently, not looking around while speaking (in order to make one's self look important), all not-so-common symptoms of a hands-free telephone conversation. The person who tells another person to go fly a kite without actually telling the person to fly a kite is not talking to his or her self (proper pronoun/antecedent agreement, I just learned). The person is simply too chicken to speak his or her mind to those whom he or she wishes to convey those thoughts. This person, while possibly considered a weak-willed social outcast, is not speaking directly back at the voices. Rather, the person is trying to outwardly express his or her thoughts to the rest of the world but doesn't have enough serotonin to pull it off successfully. It rather comes out as a half-assed attempt to boost one's ego in the course delaying his or her own regrets about life, to which one must attempt not to return to by constantly focusing the attention on the follies of others. The person who speaks to his or her self reacts to his or her self. Thoughts come in pictures and sounds; memories they are. (This is first-person information.) A person who does not wish to be committed to a world outside of the first-person will use blatant tactics to make others uncomfortable with a one-sided conversation in the guise of someone who has no friends, carrying out a self-fulfilling prophecy. (This is third-person information.) Granted I don't understand those people who put an earpiece in their left or right and pretend that it's normal. They have ability to shut out the world. I only see beautiful people do this. Or people I assume are rich. The girl who you wished you could talk to when you were in 6th grade and now are glad that you aren't associated with someone who is so self-involved. The suit who one would have to assume is on the cell phone because he didn't get that car and those $400 sunglasses by talking to himself.

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Posted 12/03/06 - 03:33 AM:	#13
I think the stigma attaches to talking only to yourself. Neglecting the social aspect of life is indeed a sign of mental illness.
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ms anthropist
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Posted 12/14/06 - 08:57 AM:	#14
however in children it is a sign of intelligence why is it wrong to do it when you grow up. also pathology is measured in terms of adjustment. therefore those that deviate in the slightly are mad..

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Posted 12/16/06 - 12:53 PM:	#15
I don´t know either, except that didn´t Wittgenstein differentiate between ´mental and public language´...? The only problem with it that I can see is that other people won´t know if they are supposed to respond to you or not, when you are talking aloud. Strangly enough, if a parrott does it, it´s considered cute. If you wish to speak loud to yourself in public, just pretend you have one of those hand-free cellphone sets. I´ve been wondering why it is OK to talk to an invisible imaginary friend called god, but if you happen to have had a chat with a tree, you are supposed to be schizo and all the rest of it too. Enjoy your conversations!

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Posted 12/30/06 - 08:19 PM:	#16
nirvana wrote: Talking to yourself can be done in 2 different ways. Talking to yourself suggests that there is another person with another mind that you talk to, and of course, that is not true and thus looked down upon. However, i'm not sure if this happens to anyone else but when i read anything, i am saying the words in my head. Also, when i think about things, my mind talks to itself (without any actual sound). I don't ask myself questions and expect a response, i merely state questions and throw out responses off my head. Is this talking to myself? I don't know how to think without saying anything in my mind. Is it the same as everyone else? well...i guess two minds are better than one. I talk to myself all the time. I wouldn't want anyone i know to know that, but what causes talking to yourself can in turn help us understand what the true outcome will be. There are those like me who talk to them selves in secret, only because they didn't have acceptance, we look at others as though they only look us down, but there are those that talk to themselves because it helps them evaluate. I'll admit, it does help me solve problems, both emotional, and trivial. people like me don't llike attention, and tend to shut themselves off from the world for emotional protection, because of this we ARE able to evaluate the situations, but, is this not insanity? we label people with the term mental ill only because they think different. Those who talk to themselves are not insane, because insane is different, since everyone is different, then there is no same. thus destroying the very beginning of the of the peradox. no one is insane. I guess you can say hummans constantly feel pain, the girl who loves the boy, but doesn't tell him, loses the boy. People take their pain, and push on others, people who talk to themselves, are easier to take the pain, because they can evaluate why the pain hurts easier than the girl. Edited by McGlothern on 12/30/06 - 08:36 PM
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Posted 12/31/06 - 01:57 AM:	#17
I heard a psychologist say that 'talking to yourself is the first sign of sanity' (he meant subvocally). I think that holds true unless you are talking to your voices, then it may be sign of madness - this is where the idea comes from. Richard has a good point there excessive self-preoccupation is a problem as well, which can be signified by self-talk. Perhaps an important sign of potential problems in the future for children.
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iruscom
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Posted 01/04/07 - 08:52 PM:	#18
Maybe it has to do with learning styles? I know that is just a shot in the dark. I agree with everything said, but throwing this out there so that maybe people can think about it. Maybe people talk to themselves because they lean more toward the auditory learning style? I know that I talk myself through a lot of situations because in my head things seem rational until I actually put them into words, because everyone knows that words don't always come out the way they are organized in your head. Thus it almost helps you to figure out what you really think, and how to say it successful in the manner that you want. I dont know...just a thought.

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Posted 01/05/07 - 09:46 AM:	#19
I don't have a great deal of difficulty with the concept of voicing my thoughts aloud, which I do from time to time; I do not think it is entirely healthy, either. Certainly, the common adage which says that talking to ones-self is only an issue when we answer and converse back and forth with ourselves is true. This I have never done. There is a little bit of what could be perceived as "disorder" in all of us, especially among those of us who are constantly thinking (more or less deeply). It was Aristotle himself who said; "There has never been a great genius without a tincture of madness".
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Posted 01/05/07 - 11:58 AM:	#20
I'm sure the talking-to-yourself stigma hails from the past when it could herald excessive loneliness in a world where there was less access to a wider world. However, it remains today a sign of potentially dangerous isolation. Some people are prone to have conversations with themselves, though, and it is particularly common after a bereavement. My grandmother used to have a sherry and conversation every night with my grandfather, she told me, for years after he died. I agree it could be a good way to gather your thoughts if you need it. But I think the stigma of talking out loud to yourself probably had a social role in the past - a warning you were too reclusive/could be more involved with the community/etc. That and a role in teaching people how to behave in public. As long as you hide it well, therefore, you're probably in control and fine. Use your mind, and own company, how you please.

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Posted 01/08/07 - 11:40 AM:	#21
I think there is a stigma simply because people with real mental disorders do talk to themselves or imaginary people quite frequently. Therefore, when we see another talking to themselves we right away wonder if they are crazy.
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Alford_Korztein
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Posted 01/08/07 - 12:59 PM:	#22
iruscom wrote: Maybe it has to do with learning styles? I know that is just a shot in the dark. I agree with everything said, but throwing this out there so that maybe people can think about it. Maybe people talk to themselves because they lean more toward the auditory learning style? I know that I talk myself through a lot of situations because in my head things seem rational until I actually put them into words, because everyone knows that words don't always come out the way they are organized in your head. Thus it almost helps you to figure out what you really think, and how to say it successful in the manner that you want. I dont know...just a thought. I did the same thing in math. Often, by themselves, the steps of an equation just wouldn't make sense. I'd have to talk it out. But it's much easier to talk it out with someone. By yourself, you are your own sounding board. I think it's much harder to concentrate as such. Therefore, why talking to yourself is looked down upon. It works much better in twos and higher.

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Posted 01/11/07 - 08:51 AM:	#23
A lot of the taboos about expressing ourselves in western society, I believe, stem from the dominance of patriarchy and normalcy. Men are taught both explicitly and implicitly not to express certain emotions. In a patriarchal culture men are considered the last line of defense, and if something is upsetting them then everyone else becomes uneasy. Likewise, this stoicism is thought to be normal or "sane" behavior, with the notable exception of small children.

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Posted 01/11/07 - 12:20 PM:	#24
There is a difference between voicing thoughts out loud and actually speaking as though you are talking to your invisible friend. There is nothing wrong with talking to yourself. You do it in your head all the time. And in the age of cellular phones, everyone appears to be talking to themselves everywhere anyway. So in the end, hearing someone apparently speaking to an invisible person is becoming the norm. Perhaps we talk to ourselves to give our self assurance, an affirmation that our thoughts are important, if only to ourselves. Hi Wuli!! Still running around in them happy circles? z
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Posted 01/13/07 - 09:38 AM:	#25
zOOmz wrote: There is a difference between voicing thoughts out loud and actually speaking as though you are talking to your invisible friend. There is nothing wrong with talking to yourself. You do it in your head all the time. And in the age of cellular phones, everyone appears to be talking to themselves everywhere anyway. So in the end, hearing someone apparently speaking to an invisible person is becoming the norm. Perhaps we talk to ourselves to give our self assurance, an affirmation that our thoughts are important, if only to ourselves. Hi Wuli!! Still running around in them happy circles? z Touche zOOmz! Self esteem is necessary for psychological survival. To avoid judgment s and self-rejection people erect barriers of defense. Typically, they may blame or project, intellectualize, and rationalize. Much of this behavior is conducted first as self talk. Since we cannot always change the circumstances we tend to change how we interpret the circumstances. Some people create critical voices and others create health supportive voices. Then again some create vicarious voices who speak for the creator like actors in a play. This allows the creator to hide identity. Others such as schizophrenics create voices that they think emanate from outside of themselves.

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