Love and Philosophy (Relationship stuff) Women especially please: Philosophy Forums

Philosophy Forums » General Philosophy » Love and Philosophy (Relationship stuff) Women especially please » Love and Philosophy (Relationship stuff) Women especially please

Love and Philosophy (Relationship stuff) Women especially please

Page: 1 2 3

Love and Philosophy (Relationship stuff) Women especially please

isthatu
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 24, 2005
Location: Florida
Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 6

Posted 01/11/06 - 11:25 AM: Subject: Love and Philosophy (Relationship stuff)	#1
Madam or Ms. or Miss, if you have any compassion &/or empathy left in your heart for men, I would be grateful if you took the time to read this and offered your opinion. (ok, guys too) Yes, I'm aware this topic sounds laughable to some, but I am wondering if I can and should combine the two. (Ok, this is a little dirty, bear with me please; I'll try and keep it short, but usually fail). Basically, every woman I've loved (as women usually understand love, not most men) has been a non-philosopher/-izer. Usually what happens is that everything is fine at first, she even seems interested in philosophy or at least intellectual discussions (I often later find out that was feigned interest, unfortunately it seems at least a few women are also not above this 'tactic?'. But inevitably there is a dis-integration and the questions begin: Do you have to analyze everything? Do you have to read all the time? Why do you read such strange books? Why do you have so many books or don't you have enough books? I believe in X and I don't care if it is irrational, something just tells me its true Why don't you ever seem interested when we go shopping, to disney world, the women's 'accessory' store, out with my friends (usually all women and sometimes a 'man' who is just 'one of the girls', that mostly exchange gossip, small talk, opinionate (is that a word?) about pop culture, celebrates, their tivo'd soap operas, and look dumbfounded at me if I mention anything remotely intellectual)? Do you have to think so much? (i'm restarting the questions here) Why won't you go to church with me on Sundays? (I actually do go once in a while, just to get updated on the 'evils' of evolution, but that's beside the point) You get the idea, basically conflicts arise, I believe, mostly because of our different interests. A lot of people not interested in Philosophy seem to have a hard time understanding those of us who are, especially if we're serious about it. So my little theory, my hope, is that a woman who is interested in philosophy would be more likely to understand me and therefore, hopefully, we'd be more compatible...loving and living happily ever after. Is this just a self-deluded pipe dream? I can see on this forum, and many other philosophy forums I've been on over the years, that there are definitely women interested in philosophy, although their numbers for some reason seem roughly half that of men's. Even at that it seems there must be quite a few single (I suppose its more PC to say 'available', but some women might be offended by its connotations as well, perhaps 'unattached?' anyway, women who might be interested in a relationship (maybe even with me!). However, there's not a good, or rather, dare I say, efficient, way of interested parties to meet (i.e. god forbid, a sort of online philosophy dating site). Many of us project the image that we are above such things so I know some will find all this quite humorous (sir, you have my permission to fo. Since such a vehicle doesn't appear to exist, and I'm not one to build a bridge when I can cross with a ferry (no pun intended), how would people so inclined proceed? Directly emailing a philosophy forum member of the opposite sex, especially in the male to female direction, can be quite risky, IMing may be even more so. So what to do, create a pretense to justify the intrusion? I'm not particularly incline to this, since some women act highly upset when they find out the true motive, not to mention the approach seems to me to tread shaky ethical ground. Ok, I've gone on enough, you get the idea. How can or does or should a philosophically inclined person meet a like minded, available and interested sexual opposite of the same species? Thanks, isthatu ps. I might post this on another forum site in an effort to elicit a second opinion, I hope that doesn't freak anyone out ps. two, I would be grateful to receive a private message, email, IM, forum post, or even a sound thrashing at this point, from any eligible women.

Demicidal
Little Brother of Society

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Location: Virginia
Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 45

Posted 01/11/06 - 11:41 AM:	#2
Sadly this whole thing is based upon you. Love is a relationship between 2 people not just about you, it's about the entity...The couple. If you can't enlighten or even decide to put aside your slight obsession with philosophy you aren't committing yourself to the relationship, and yet your expecting the other half to commit her/his self. Your being selfish in your pursuit, and naive. I hope I wasn't cruel, or insensitive.
I don't want to rule or conquer anyone I should like to help everyone if possible Jew, gentile, black, white We all want to help one another We want to live by each other's happiness Not by each others misery.

Demicidal
Little Brother of Society

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Location: Virginia
Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 45

Posted 01/11/06 - 11:47 AM:	#3
Also, I don't think this is the right place to pursuit a relationship. try EHarmony.com or something like that... One!
I don't want to rule or conquer anyone I should like to help everyone if possible Jew, gentile, black, white We all want to help one another We want to live by each other's happiness Not by each others misery.

jaoman
On the Road...

Usergroup: Sponsors
Joined: Mar 13, 2004
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Total Topics: 84
Total Posts: 1346

Posted 01/11/06 - 12:14 PM:	#4
Try taking some philosophy courses and conversing with some of the females from there. Or, yeah, as Demicidal said, singles services with profiles can be a viable option as well. I've personally seen philosophy posted as a female interest on msn, for instance.
"With no relation to class or social background, whether it suits them or not, people yearn for a dream. Sustained by a dream, hurt by a dream, revived by a dream, killed by a dream. And even after being abandoned by a dream, it continues to smolder from the bottom of one's heart... probably until the verge of death. A man should envision such a lifetime once. A life spent as a martyr to the god named "dream." - Kentaro Miura

assmonkeywarrior
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Jan 11, 2006
Total Topics: 3
Total Posts: 4

Posted 01/11/06 - 12:29 PM: Subject: nice	#5
I really liked your thread, and it seems to be the same problem for me. As a matter of fact, my philosophy teacher married another philosophy teacher, just so she can have someone to talk to lol. I don't think your ideas show any selfishness, it just seems your tired of the useless "dating game", well, were on the same boat dude. This reminds me of a Nietzsche quote from Thus Spoke Zarathustra, "And a women must obey and find a depth for her surface. Surface is women's disposition, a stormily moving skin over shallow waters. But a man's disposition is deep, its torrent rushes through subterranean caves: a women senses its strength, but does not comprehend it."

isthatu
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 24, 2005
Location: Florida
Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 6

Posted 01/11/06 - 01:01 PM:	#6
In reply to Demicidal: "Sadly this whole thing is based upon you." "Sadly"? Am I being "Special"ed by the church lady? "Whole?" Nay, it obviously concerns the other person greatly. I didn't think it necessary to point that out more than I did. "Love is a relationship between 2 people not just about you..." You're kidding right? "If you can't enlighten or even decide to put aside your slight obsession with philosophy you aren't committing yourself to the relationship, and yet your expecting the other half to commit her/his self." Of course I put it aside at times, but I don't want to put it aside all of the time, that's the main point of the discussion, whether it would be better to seek out and couple with a woman of this important and hopefully common interest or not. Of course I consider my SO's need and desires. I am more than willing to commit myself to a mutually beneficial relationship, I am even eager to do so. But why would I "commit" to a relationship that had such a serious mutual, fundamental incompatibility? It seems to me that would be inconsiderate and even possibly harmful to raise such expectations in a person I care about if I were aware of such an incompatibility. "Your being selfish in your pursuit, and naive." Everyone is selfish, at least to some degree, (see Egoism). Saying someone is selfish is only giving a partial description of a human (I'm a primate, bipedal, etc). My partial selfishness even benefits my partner since it is also good for her if I seek a mutually beneficial relationship. I am definitely not completely selfish, as I consider and try and accommodate her and our needs. But if I can satisfy our common needs, isn't it evidently better than having to satisfy different, mutually unpalatable, or even opposing needs? I hope I wasn't cruel, or insensitive. If that was your intent, I'm sorry you failed as I didn't interpret it so, it struck me rather as attempted humor. But I hope I'm wrong, I like to believe that everyone is sincerely trying to help their fellow man. Also, I don't think this is the right place to pursuit a relationship. try EHarmony.com or something like that... Obviously this is not primarily or specifically a pursuit, my wish was philosophical thought, discussion, positive suggestions, that sort of thing. Once again, it was a serious question, not a joke, and I would appreciate serious, useful suggestions. Thanks, isthatu ps. I hope I wasn't cruel or insensitive either.

isthatu
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 24, 2005
Location: Florida
Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 6

Posted 01/11/06 - 01:08 PM:	#7
Thanks jaoman and assmonkeywarrior. I have looked into, and still am, the singles services, but not with great success. Too far away, too young, too old, they really meant new age philosophy, etc. It's not easy, sure I see them and I even email them and normally receive wrench in the gears similar to those above. I will keep trying those places, but it would be nice if there was a place specific to philosophers, since we are sometimes a rather unique (in a good way) group. Thanks again, isthatu

isthatu
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 24, 2005
Location: Florida
Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 6

Posted 01/11/06 - 01:39 PM:	#8
I could possibly take some philosophy courses and that may be the best way (its times like this I wished I lived in or nearer a big city). To me, having someone to talk to is in no way a 'just', it is The Just to me. There is no higher, greater, deeper, etc. unending, or more beautiful thing than to really connect, understand and communicate with someone you love. To me it is the pinnacle and end of all experience. I am a big fan of Nietzsche, but cannot find agreement with him here, since I am completely at odds with any form of female subjugation and recognize many women as much deeper than the vast majority of men. Many scholars say or frequently imply he had women 'issues'. Thanks for the compliment devotchka. (suddenly I wish I were much younger) Thanks and good luck to you too.

poet-7
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Oct 30, 2005
Total Topics: 0
Total Posts: 5

Posted 01/11/06 - 09:33 PM:	#9
Women are an enigma that needs understanding.. A philosopher is the one who instinctively/habitually questions all that is questionable in existence; let him solve the eternal riddle in a woman's mind. Love follows; in love everything rejoices, everything becomes meaningful --is this not what all philosophy is all about? A smile in her eyes, a tender feeling arises in your heart, and philosophy is just a colorless fragment of the yesterday's meaningless dream.. To discuss what one has read, thought, discerned..., be a friend with pen and paper, with silence, with solitude, with the 'philosophy forums' etc... Yet one has to come to women with a heart, for women arenot interested in any philosophy that 'impresses' her mind, but that touches her heart.. What touches her heart must sincerely touch yours first, in her presence in your mind...

devotchka
Graduate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 19, 2005
Location: shwa
Total Topics: 5
Total Posts: 165

Posted 01/12/06 - 12:14 PM:	#10
poet-7 wrote: To discuss what one has read, thought, discerned..., be a friend with pen and paper, with silence, with solitude, with the 'philosophy forums' etc... Yet one has to come to women with a heart, for women arenot interested in any philosophy that 'impresses' her mind, but that touches her heart.. What touches her heart must sincerely touch yours first, in her presence in your mind... not bad
-alexa

Page: 1 2 3

You don't have permission to post.

Please login or register.