Is hatred normal?: Philosophy Forums

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Is hatred normal?
A thought accompanied by some drama as context.

Is hatred normal?

Lanced
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Posted 11/05/09 - 11:24 AM: Subject: Is hatred normal?	#1
I was in a situation a while back, where I entered a relationship with my, now current, girlfriend. The girl's best-friend, Ali, had ( and has ) insecurity issues. In specific, when Ali's friends start to show interest in valuing something aside from her, she would lash out either plainly or with snide comments and remarks in an attempt to render what was being valued as silly or not worth anything. The issue arose when my girlfriend and I spoke of her on a ride from class. I stated that I didn't hate her, even after some horrible things she has said and done, what with her spreading rumors about my girlfriend and I, and standing up in the midst of class and screaming at my girlfriend. While although disappointed and at the time angry with her, I believe that if she knew better she would not have done these things. As I believe that any fear or evil stems simply from ignorance. Now having that thought, I simply do not feel angry at people. Perhaps annoyed at times, but never for long. I just see no point in hating people, what does it benefit aside from satisfying my impulsive emotion? Now armed with this knowledge of Ali's behavior, I do not give her the liberty of having power over my emotions, I now look at her as I do anyone else. Is something wrong with me? It isn't normal of anyone else I know. Needless to say my girlfriend is upset with me and won't talk to me for a while, I think. Basically, is hatred a normal emotion that one should encourage?

Hypothesis
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Posted 11/05/09 - 01:05 PM:	#2
No hatred is no good and has no benefits and I think I agree/sympathises with your post 100% and is the same position that I would take. Is hatred normal ? Sure, but I'd personally prefer not to hate because it is an emotion that does more harm to the person who hates then those being hated - and hatred should be acknowledged and those who cause this emotion should either be reconciled and if reconciliation is not possible then forgiving the person is also a good thing and if you are partly to blame self-forgiveness is also beneficial. Edited by Hypothesis on 11/05/09 - 01:14 PM
We build too many walls and not enough bridges. - Newton

TempletonEsquire
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0 of 1 people found this post helpful Posted 11/05/09 - 01:10 PM:	#3
Often times, others ask for an emotional response as a sign of alignment in times of war. If you wish to continue your alignment with your girlfriend then you may want fake the emotions needed for the test of alignment. Otherwise you will be seen as an agent of the enemy, an active dissenter to the honor of the slighted. When understanding women, it's best to treat them as fighting nation states, then your command as soldier will be easier to accept.

Wosret
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Posted 11/05/09 - 01:16 PM:	#4
Communal, and vocal dislike, or hatred of a person or group often serves to foster comradery, and solidarity. Is it normal? Certainly. We all (barring anomalies) have the necessary emotions, and capacity -- and certainly we all know what it feels like.
"If you've got any last words, say 'em now." - Nadie. "I am Horo the Wise." - Horo the Wise.

To Mega Therion
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Posted 11/05/09 - 01:33 PM:	#5
I would say that hatred is both normal and, in certain cases, desirable. Not that you should hate someone for a minor infraction, but there are people who seriously cross the line. I see no real reason why one should not hate such people; after all this seems like a normal response. I find it somewhat amusing that people usually deride hatred, but not love, even though they are rather similar. You need to ask yourself if you actually hate this girl, all other considerations aside. If you do, there's no point in repressing your emotions; that will probably cause more problems later on. If you do not, you should explain this to your girlfriend.

Cheshire
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Posted 11/05/09 - 02:41 PM:	#6
OP wrote: As I believe that any fear or evil stems simply from ignorance. It looks like your viewing the situation as if you were outside of it. Your girlfriend expects you to empathize with her situation as if you were a part of it. In order to do that you have to put yourself in her shoes. If I were in your position I would be angry and offended is the correct response. I assume you told her being angry was a character flaw or irrational? However, I would note that based on the "best friends history" she was acting as one ought expect her to act. If you have a crazy friend, then it might come down to reasonable expectations. I wouldn't repeat this part.
Or not.

Tobias
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Posted 11/06/09 - 01:13 AM:	#7
Why would you hate her? Your girlfriend can not expect you to hate a person who you do not hate. There is nothing wrong with not hating someone I'd say. But she expects you to stand up for her and that is a thing you should do. She crossed lines and so you have to stand up for yourself and her. That is not an emotional situation but a reasonable one. And sure you can stand up for yourself and her against Ali without hating her.
"The Power of Kant compels you" "The Power of Kant compels you" "The Power of Kant compels you"

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