Importance of Loving Yourself

Importance of Loving Yourself
withteeth
Newbie
Avatar

Usergroup: Under Review
Joined: Sep 04, 2005

Total Topics: 5
Total Posts: 0
#1 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 4, 2009 - 2:46 PM:
Subject: Importance of Loving Yourself
Hi everybody! smiling face

Bear with me and feel free to critique my thoughts please!

What: Loving yourself, The state of being comfortable in ones own skin and love who one is.

Why: So one can go through life living the life you may truly have always wanted. To take care of yourself better. Stop seeking approval.

How: Now this part gets me. How? I was thinking that perhaps one could just take one's self out of their own body (figuratively, being introspective) and try to be one's own best friend. Taking care of that person like you love him/her because that is your best friend. Taking care of them by helping them to get on the right foot to strive for their passions in life. For if one isn't doing something they want in life, can, or do they really love themselves?

I started meditation recently and for some reason this popped in my head. I was also listening to Osho, He mentioned how people may love their neighbour but do not know how to love themselves. So he explained it as 2 beggars sharing really nothing.

One has to love himself/ herself before loving others. Because if they do not love themselves while loving another, then what?

Please comment on these new thoughts of mine. They are pretty under developed, or perhaps it would better to point me in a good direction. I'm interested in what everybody has to say about this topic!

Edited by hyena in petticoat on Jan 21, 2009 - 12:57 AM. Reason: Illiteracy.
swstephe
PF Addict
Avatar

Usergroup: Moderators
Joined: Apr 20, 2006
Location: San Ramon, California

Total Topics: 39
Total Posts: 1489
#2 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 4, 2009 - 11:13 PM:

I think it is just the opposite. Everyone is completely in love with themselves. Even if they hate themselves, they are simply inverting love into a disappointment over failed expectations. Even if those who think they are loving other people, (or hating them), are most often more focused on their relationship with that person, not that specific person. You can see how strongly people are defined by the people they love. Whether someone is helpful or harmful is really the same emotion expressed different ways. So people have no problems loving themselves, but have difficulty in knowing how to relate to themselves helpfully. This way of thinking has lead me down an interesting path. You love yourself through your relationships with others, and that is always held up as superior to loving yourself directly. If you really wanted to love others, you could expand your sense and association of "self" to include others, becoming a kind of virtual symbiotic relationship.
SMG
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 21, 2008

Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 32
#3 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 6:09 AM:

swstephe wrote:
I think it is just the opposite. Everyone is completely in love with themselves. Even if they hate themselves, they are simply inverting love into a disappointment over failed expectations. Even if those who think they are loving other people, (or hating them), are most often more focused on their relationship with that person, not that specific person. You can see how strongly people are defined by the people they love. Whether someone is helpful or harmful is really the same emotion expressed different ways. So people have no problems loving themselves, but have difficulty in knowing how to relate to themselves helpfully. This way of thinking has lead me down an interesting path. You love yourself through your relationships with others, and that is always held up as superior to loving yourself directly. If you really wanted to love others, you could expand your sense and association of "self" to include others, becoming a kind of virtual symbiotic relationship.


I agree with you, exept for one part, that everyone loves them selves all the time, your description above require no love for oneself, and I think it is the case, if we are incapable of loving ourselves (in the same way we don't hear our ears or see our eyes), the feelings we have about us are created from relationship to others and love we recieve from others, loving oneself is just and abstract expression created to simplify complex relation between feelings and enviroment around.

I can't formulate an answer to the idea of splitting oneself so there is an other to love you, but disapproval
But it also shows that "loving oneself" is really about someone else loving you, and splitting oneself is just takning it to litteraly.
throng
Profester.
Avatar

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Location: Downunder.

Total Topics: 57
Total Posts: 1146
#4 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 10:07 AM:

I think it is paramount to be honest with yourself. Practicing self honesty leads to trusting yourself. Trusting youself makes you a close friend to yourself. If you are close to yourself then you love yourself.

If you associate with 'Spiritual' new age social circles there'll be alot of talk of love. 'God is love', 'devine love' etc are the cliches of the 'spiritual' status quo.

Truth is the paramount thing for humanity, and honesty and trust are the substance for biulding love for yourself or among humanity.

The truth first, love is the consequence.
Fiammetta
Apotropaically Abstruse
Avatar

Usergroup: Sponsors
Joined: Apr 20, 2006
Location: Northern Illinois

Total Topics: 16
Total Posts: 74
#5 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 10:33 AM:

If you let go of the sense of self, and act purely on compassion and love as a whole and seperate from the self, you might find that you are able to love others more freely and unselfishly.

It all depends on what kind of love we are talking about, and whether or not placing importance on one being is paramount to placing importance on others.

I would argue that to truly love another, we must ignore the self. When you objectify yourself and others, your actions become selfish in nature and while they may seem loving to the people involved, it could potentially rule out loving others. I think that truly loving someone unconditionally requires you to be selfless.

Love exists for the joy alone, once you insert self into it you lessen the joy and subject it to your standards and the standards of others which can lead to failure and disappointment. Love the moment, not the self and you might know true love. And you might say, "But Fia! A moment is so fleeting!" but I promise the next will follow in short order and has equal potential wink
SMG
Initiate

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 21, 2008

Total Topics: 1
Total Posts: 32
#6 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 10:57 AM:

Fiammetta wrote:
If you let go of the sense of self, and act purely on compassion and love as a whole and seperate from the self, you might find that you are able to love others more freely and unselfishly.

It all depends on what kind of love we are talking about, and whether or not placing importance on one being is paramount to placing importance on others.

I would argue that to truly love another, we must ignore the self. When you objectify yourself and others, your actions become selfish in nature and while they may seem loving to the people involved, it could potentially rule out loving others. I think that truly loving someone unconditionally requires you to be selfless.

Love exists for the joy alone, once you insert self into it you lessen the joy and subject it to your standards and the standards of others which can lead to failure and disappointment. Love the moment, not the self and you might know true love. And you might say, "But Fia! A moment is so fleeting!" but I promise the next will follow in short order and has equal potential wink


There is nothing to let go of,
throng
Profester.
Avatar

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Location: Downunder.

Total Topics: 57
Total Posts: 1146
#7 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 11:14 AM:

I really do think love is a human emotion.

The 'let go of self' notion suggests that love exists apart from the self, or ego.

Why do people think love is a 'higher order' of thing than a mere human emotion? Or an animal emotion like my dog loves me.

Surely love is an emotional thing and not some external presence.
Fiammetta
Apotropaically Abstruse
Avatar

Usergroup: Sponsors
Joined: Apr 20, 2006
Location: Northern Illinois

Total Topics: 16
Total Posts: 74
#8 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 11:25 AM:

Exactly, SMG. wink

Throng,

Does your dog love you, or does he simply know where his food and pleasure comes from?

Is that the same as human love? Do we love because of need? Do we love purely for what it gives us in return?

When we love, we seek to allieviate suffering. Is that an emotion or an action?

I assert that love is an action, not an emotion.
F.W.Nietzsche
Resident
Avatar

Usergroup: Members
Joined: Dec 15, 2008

Total Topics: 3
Total Posts: 101
#9 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 7:14 PM:

I think it's okay to hate yourself if you're Hitler or Dahmer.
Cafe Rob
coffee aficionado
Avatar

Usergroup: Members
Joined: May 29, 2007
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

Total Topics: 7
Total Posts: 3
#10 - Quote - Permalink
Posted Jan 5, 2009 - 11:06 PM:

"Fiammetta" wrote:
I assert that love is an action, not an emotion.


That sounds to me like a belief you've arrived at from some idea you've had or read about. It does not ring true in terms of actual experience. As Schopenhauer once remarked, "a good night out with a woman is not about intellectual conversation."
locked
Download thread as
  • 0/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5



This thread is closed, so you cannot post a reply.