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I need your advice.
pinguis
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Posted 06/26/09 - 02:54 AM:
Subject: I need your advice.
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Hello my friend. I need your advice about this …situation. First, I’m not good with grammar (not native) so sorry about that. I am philosophy student and I establish a philosophy club which is fine but I’m not fine now. Not by the club but by one of my teacher. Not because I hate her, which will be fine. Instead, I fall for her. That’s it.

It’s not that I’ve never fall for someone. I used to and I can go out with them (I had two girlfriends but we break up without our will, just forget it.) The thing is I’ve never had this kind of relationship with my own teacher. She is not far older than me. In fact, she is my senior and 4 years older than me.

I’m an okay for body’s matter. I am clever with something and I am a leader which in my opinion, she happy with that. We smile to each other (secretly). And our conversation is sound good. Today, she call me three times to talk for a few minute which can talk in club or class but she sound happy to talk with me (I’m more than the word happy to talk to her.) Therefore, I suppose she interest me.

The problem is our status, teacher-student. I intend to “hit-harder” when I finish her ethic class (this is extremely funny) which will end next month. The reason is she can grade me and I don’t want our relationship influence this. But there is many thing else such as should I wait till I graduate or I shouldn’t fall for my teacher because…?

Thank you for your opinion.
Willowz
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Posted 06/26/09 - 03:06 AM:
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Just remember that she is risking more than you.

This song will prepare you for a good smile.
mayor of simpleton
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Posted 06/26/09 - 03:13 AM:
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OK, first of all be really careful with this one. The problem "teacher-student" is more than you think it is.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
A four year difference is not much, I am four years older than my wife, then again I'm 44, we met when I was 28. This difference is not really all that much, but if you are 17 and she is 21 and your teacher, all hell can break loose.

A teacher looks at students not in the same way they look at others outside of their profession. I have had a number of teachers that "seemed" to be attracted to me. Others around me seemed to support this perception, but in truth, it was my capacity to learn and interest in their message. Teachers teach out of passion for the expansion of knowledge and not for the money. There is a degree of excitement for a teacher when a student gets it or is just interested in the topic. Teaching has a very personal dynamic and cannot be confused with a "romantic relationship". I have had this happen to me with athletes I have trained. Trainer - Athlete is very similar. (Guys who are not gay in the least, that somehow find interest in me. The work is very intimate, but not romantic. I'm not gay either and do not send out signals, but I can understand how this can happen.)

The personal dynamic of "teacher-student" is not all too far away from a "romantic relationship", but they are not one and the same thing.

Meow!

GREG

I am not one to attribute that which I cannot understand immediately to be god(s)-perhaps I will never understand, but god(s) are not defined by my lack of understanding-this is the foundation of dogmas, the pressing of connotative values into the realm of dennotative meaning. - MOS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIYJERcdHb0 Jerry Sings!
pinguis
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Posted 06/26/09 - 03:22 AM:
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Yes.
mayor of simpleton
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Posted 06/26/09 - 03:25 AM:
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yes...YES...???

I love young people now of days...

What are you going to marry her?

Yes, your going to become a business major?

Yes, your going to become a gay professional athlete?

Too many SMS's effecting conversations...


Please give your teacher more of an answer than one word.

MEOW!

GREG

I am not one to attribute that which I cannot understand immediately to be god(s)-perhaps I will never understand, but god(s) are not defined by my lack of understanding-this is the foundation of dogmas, the pressing of connotative values into the realm of dennotative meaning. - MOS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIYJERcdHb0 Jerry Sings!
pinguis
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Posted 06/26/09 - 04:14 AM:
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Sorry, for the word "yes". I try to mean I listen to you and understand your point.
If you translate "yes" to my language it can mean something like that. I sorry but I don't really understand completely about your concept of "yes" so after this I will say "I understand your point." is this correct?
treysuttle
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Posted 06/26/09 - 05:15 AM:
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Well, if she calls you several times a day to talk (philosophy?) and you are just in something like an intro to ethics...that is pretty strange. My adviser met her husband while she was a grad student and he was a professor...they have been together for many years now and seem really happy..they really balance each other out as philosophers. And they are ten years difference in age.

Wait till the class is over and ask her out for a date.

But yes, as has been mentioned, its really easy to read more into this kind of relationship that might be there. My undergraduate and graduate thesis advisers were both women, nice looking, highly intellectual (a philosophers wet dream, haha)...and they smiled at me often, took me out to dinner to discuss ideas, bought drinks for me at the bar while discussing ideas, really took an interest in my work, and so forth....I never got the idea that they were interested in me in any non 'platonic' way, but I can see where it would be easy to fall into this mindframe.

pinguis
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Posted 06/26/09 - 05:30 AM:
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No, she isn't call me for talk about philosophy. We talk about her hobby(painting) which is not mine. And about computer, about how I am and talk about her friend which is also a teacher. Well, I tell her I don't like to paint but I say I interest to see her painting. Her friend is my adviser and doesn't come to university so she ask me, why her friend doesn't come to teach? Pretty strange? I think so. She can call her friend and ask but she call me instead.

Well, something like that.


Caldwell
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Posted 06/26/09 - 11:41 PM:
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pinguis wrote:
But there is many thing else such as should I wait till I graduate or I shouldn’t fall for my teacher because…?

Thank you for your opinion.

I think everyone should have a personal principle/s that they don't break ever. For instance, I will not betray a friend. Or, "I will not cheat in an exam.", etc. I find throughout my high school and college days, that a teacher-student should be one of those things. If you are in her class, there is actually, or potentially, a conflict of interests. She could be less objective in evaluating your work. But there is something else about the teacher-student relationship that you should honor. It should be a professional relationship, not a love-infected one.

*er, you asked for an opinion*
pinguis
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Posted 06/27/09 - 04:43 AM:
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I completely understand your point. I can list many reason of "why should not love her." and many more about "why should I've never confess her."

I think I know I love her and I want her to be happy. Its ok if she just be a teacher and I am a student. Everything fine then but her smile, word and care make me feel the possibility that she falls for me too. That is a whole different story. I will not worry if she just my club's advisor not my own teacher. I think I can do a proper manner with her forever. She call herself, when we alone, as if she just my senior not my teacher but I keep call her with respect word and voice as teacher.

Should I consult her friend which is my advisor? Damn..... I confuse. My advisor and her advisor(well, ex-advisor) seems to know about how I feel to her and tease us with their eyes and wordplays.
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