Funny Philosophical Quotes

Funny Philosophical Quotes

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Posted Jan 6, 2008 - 4:38 PM:
Subject: Funny Philosophical Quotes
We've already got a topic for philosophical quotes, But I wanted to make this one specifically for the humorous ones. If you have any funny quotes that may provide an intriguing view on any sort of philosophical topic, or are just funny, please share. I'll share a few I've heard before, then come up with some of my own.

"Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines."

"Vegetarian: An indian word for lousy hunter."

"Experience is the lesson you learn right after you really need it."

"In an argument
Men use reason and never have enough
Women use emotion and always have too much."

The last one is my own. Post more.

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Posted Jan 7, 2008 - 3:17 AM:

"A ham sandwich is better than nothing.
Nothing is better than eternal happiness.
A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness."

-A quote taken from Logic Made easy which was taken from something else

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Posted Jan 7, 2008 - 3:53 PM:

Bordering on issues covered by, if not really, philosophy (any advise on the grammar here, with regards to the commas around "if not really"?):

"Intelligence doesn't come like pots of jam" (referring to intelligence/spies rather than intellect)
YOU sir, are a cunt

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Posted Jan 17, 2008 - 1:06 PM:

Mark Twain all...

"Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself."

"There isn't time--so brief is life--for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. there is only time for loving--& but an instant, so to speak, for that."

"Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but afer all, the Scotchman would shake his head, and say, "Where's your haggis?" and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'"

"Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink."


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Posted Mar 17, 2008 - 2:51 PM:

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
---AMbrose Bierce

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Posted Jul 16, 2008 - 4:46 PM:

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
- Hector Berlioz

"The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it."
- J. Robert Oppenheimer
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Posted Jul 18, 2008 - 3:55 PM:

"Everything You say is false." - The discussion killer.

"The sun is gonna rise tommorrow." -The reply.

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Posted Jul 26, 2008 - 3:32 AM:

I've posted this one before, but it's been a few years so I'll do it again. It is taken from the computer game Alpha Centauri...

"We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?"

Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7 (Subject termination advised)

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Posted Jul 27, 2008 - 1:02 PM:

"Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. Descartes says 'I think not' and disappears."

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Posted Aug 6, 2008 - 5:37 PM:

Another Cartesian one:

I think, therefore I am. I'm pink, therefore Im spam.

Monty Python.

apologies - neewb post
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