Funny Philosophical Quotes: Philosophy Forums

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Funny Philosophical Quotes

Inkstain
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Posted 01/06/08 - 01:38 PM: Subject: Funny Philosophical Quotes	#1
We've already got a topic for philosophical quotes, But I wanted to make this one specifically for the humorous ones. If you have any funny quotes that may provide an intriguing view on any sort of philosophical topic, or are just funny, please share. I'll share a few I've heard before, then come up with some of my own. "Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines." "Vegetarian: An indian word for lousy hunter." "Experience is the lesson you learn right after you really need it." "In an argument Men use reason and never have enough Women use emotion and always have too much." The last one is my own. Post more.
When the clock strikes end, will anyone stop to look over their shoulder?

crunchy

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Posted 01/07/08 - 12:17 AM:	#2
"A ham sandwich is better than nothing. Nothing is better than eternal happiness. A ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness." -A quote taken from Logic Made easy which was taken from something else

myrmecophaga
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Posted 01/07/08 - 12:53 PM:	#3
Bordering on issues covered by, if not really, philosophy (any advise on the grammar here, with regards to the commas around "if not really"?): "Intelligence doesn't come like pots of jam" (referring to intelligence/spies rather than intellect)
"It would be wrong to call it Patriotism, because the word is so given to misunderstanding. It is better expressed as a concern for your country that runs so deep, you find it physically impossible to switch off and cultivate the garden" -- Lord Deedes. "Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?"- Henry Ward Beecher

GinRicky
YOU sir, are a cunt

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Posted 01/17/08 - 10:06 AM:	#4
Mark Twain all... "Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself." "There isn't time--so brief is life--for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. there is only time for loving--& but an instant, so to speak, for that." "Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but afer all, the Scotchman would shake his head, and say, "Where's your haggis?" and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'" "Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, & those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink."
Que scais je?

hradska
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Posted 03/17/08 - 10:51 AM:	#5
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." ---AMbrose Bierce

Kirkkomäki
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Posted 07/16/08 - 12:46 PM:	#6
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." - Hector Berlioz "The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it." - J. Robert Oppenheimer

Cadrache
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Posted 07/18/08 - 11:55 AM:	#7
"Everything You say is false." - The discussion killer. "The sun is gonna rise tommorrow." -The reply.

easyjacksn
Almost there...

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Posted 07/25/08 - 11:32 PM:	#8
I've posted this one before, but it's been a few years so I'll do it again. It is taken from the computer game Alpha Centauri... "We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?" Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7 (Subject termination advised)

outofstep
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Posted 07/27/08 - 09:02 AM:	#9
"Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. Descartes says 'I think not' and disappears."

Xerxes63
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Posted 08/06/08 - 01:37 PM:	#10
Another Cartesian one: I think, therefore I am. I'm pink, therefore Im spam. Monty Python. apologies - neewb post

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