Is there a way to disconnect from the bad emotions associated with being cheated on?



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Joined: Feb 24, 2011
Location: California

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Posted Feb 24, 2011 - 2:01 PM:
Subject: Cheating
What is the common idea associated with most, "negative things?" Disappointment. Some would agree there are back door solutions to most of these problems, but other problems are deep rooted emotionally connected issues that one remains vulnerable to. For one example, cheating. Cheating is something that most all of us can identify as one of our greatest disappointments. Whenever we are in a relationship, that idea is lurking at all times.. If this is true, then we all essentially live in fear. Imagine life without fear. Better yet, imagine life without the fear of being cheated on. There are two ways this can be achieved.

1) Find the male or female of your dreams who will "Love" (which is a substantial subject I`ll probably get to one day) you and treat you with utmost respect. This person would never ever ever even think about cheating on you, and you have faith in that. But isn't faith a form of defense against something you fear? Faith is a shield of delusional invulnerability to whatever it is you feel can cause you harm. So you may feel confident in the other person, but in reality it is nothing more than a false sense of security. Not there's anything wrong with that, I mean, many people live that way day by day.

2) Have the ability to identify what it is that forces you associate cheating with any feeling of negativity. If you can figure out a way to dismantle those emotional feelings of insecurity and selfishness (that's really what it is) then you have nothing to be afraid of. If you can genuinely survive the god forbidden sin of infidelity from your partner without feeling any trace of contempt or discomfort then you are one step closer to a happy life. Think about how many lives have been limited, or ruined because of the concept of "cheating." If you don't mind finding out about adultery then you won't take offense. This is a conservative approach given you find a guy or girl that holds a strong set of values right off the bat so cheating would be most unlikely. That way if she commits an act of "cheating," you won't miss a step. This is something you have already tackled and have prepared for, allowing you to shrug your shoulders and move on in your life. There are better things to be upset with. I couldn't find a way to justify cheating on anyone, but it is something most people have to face eventually if they haven't already from a current or part partner. Funny thing that I just noticed is this is almost a sociopathic approach to being able to tackle problems. Imagine the mental power you can maintain if you have the power to take control of your emotional connections and reach a level of emotional efficiency.

Let me define that term:

Emotional Efficiency - To maximize happiness, and minimize sadness (like economical efficiency of maximizing profit, and minimizing expenses).

Second guessing that statement, emotional efficiency is not fairly categorized with the word "sociopath" because sociopaths have an absence of emotional connection with things they have no control over.

Even if that is a possibility, would it be something to strive for?
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Posted Feb 26, 2011 - 9:36 AM:

I really don't have this problem. I understand the evolutionary psychology behind possessive feelings, but some combination of low-empathy and self-absorption makes me not care. I am interested in the sex life of others out of concern for my personal well being (I don't want any diseases), but I honestly could not give a damn if someone wants to have sex with someone else. Just because I am dating a man doesn't suddenly make him gay with respect to all other women, and if he is not spending enough time with me that is a totally separate issue of whether he is having sex with someone else.

I know our species is obsessed with sex mores (again, for evolutionary and cultural reasons) but I think it's all a bunch of flim-flam and pish-posh. Sex is just a hobby and sport, like kayaking. People really need to get over it, or at least I wish they would.
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